By simply thinking the phrase in passing, let alone whispering it, let alone shouting it, let alone writing it in bold for the world to see- I will say this once, at the heightened risk of public embarrassment, and I will not say it again: The Vikings Are Going To The Super Bowl.
As you’re reading this, I should let you know what’s going through my mind at this exact moment: If the Vikings are to fail in making it to the Super Bowl, this post will be grabbed by its lifeless collar and smacked against my front windshield while driving to a Packer fan looking me in my iris and speaking, “How you like them apples!?” (Good Will Hunting ref: check). If they fail, do I carry the brunt of Viking fans’ reasoning for them falling? Will this post be recapped on Deadspin as “poor fan performance of the week”? Does any of it matter?
And now, as I answer myself, in this meta moment of a writer writing to himself while he’s writing you at the same fell swoop: No. The answer to all these passing negative thoughts is undoubtedly “No”.
When the Vikings reach the Super Bowl, you can look back on this post as less a declaration and more a prophecy.
I really can’t put into words exactly why I’m insisting on saying “The Vikings Are Going To The Super Bowl”. That may be the least important piece of this story. I believe what is paramount at this moment is that it’s already happening. It doesn’t matter if the 1974 Pittsburgh Steelers’ Defense suddenly stepped through a time portal onto the field against the Vikings. It doesn’t matter if Joe Montana were to take several shots of super soldier serum and be taking snaps from the 1999 Rams with the option of handing off to Marshall Faulk, the Vikings will still prevail.
With all this said, get your popcorn ready, and have a damn good February 4th this year.